The use of rewards to change behaviour is quite controversial. Some researchers suggest it is too controlling and manipulative. That is, you are using an incentive to make someone do something you want. While there are some cautions in using rewards there are also some great benefits I've outlined both for you below.

Rewards sometimes hide problems rather than solve them. I could use a reward to manage almost any behaviour in my class – a child calling out, out of seat behaviour, or unkindness. I just say to the student if you do X I will give you Y. While it is awesome I get the behaviour I want, sometimes I have missed a bigger lesson. The child may be calling out because I am not fairly distributing my questions, out of seat behaviour is because they are confused about the lesson and checking with a friend, and the unkindness is due to feeling deeply unhappy within themselves. Hidden and not solved is not helpful. 

Rewards are a great way to acknowledge your child. Rather than use rewards to get your child to do something, use them to celebrate what they have done. I loved doing this when I was teaching (both in primary school and university). If I saw a child persevering when they struggled with a subject I might give them a sticker and say “I am so proud of you today”. I am using the rewards to say “I see you”, “I appreciate you”, or “thank you”. The sticker is just a representative of my positive words. The power of this was evident last year, when one of my university students sent me a photo of the sticker I had given her five years ago.

Expected. One of the problems with rewards is that children can start to expect a reward every time they complete a behaviour.  This is because you reward them every single time they do something. It is now predictable and required before they complete the task. I took a relief class once and they told me that they should be rewarded for sitting on the mat, raising their hand, and writing neatly. This is the results of consistent rewarding. Try to reward your child randomly and when they least expect it. Rewards should never be that predictable that they become a demand.

Rewards can teach good habits. There is a great piece of research where they gave children with reading difficulties rewards for reading every day. At the end of the six-week intervention the children no longer needed the rewards, because they actually enjoyed reading. This is a great example of how rewards can get us into a good behaviour, but then the actual activity becomes the reward.

Dr Mandie Shean
College Psychologist